Chris Johnson in all his Glory

Complete this sentence. 2009 will be remembered as the year that....

I punched in the face. [Ed. I didn't bother to contact Chris for clarification on this typo because I feel the combination of whatever crack he was trying to make here and the inability to write it in a complete sentence are oddly appropriate for what is about to follow.]

What one event or change defined your year?

Falling in love with my wife all over again.

Any run-ins with the law?

I am the law.

Could Daniel possibly get any funnier/more handsome?

Only if that plush uni-brow finally connects.

Culture. What was your favorite movie/book/TV show/music artist?

Watchmen, graphic design books, Sons of Anarchy, The Muse. In that order.

Did you pick up any new skills this year?

I have gotten better at web design but am far off from where I plan to be. I have also learned how to run a business and the best ways to deal with clients.

Why do some men have terrible gas all of the time? Seriously, I really need to know.

Have you smelled Jessicas? Man’s is feeble compared to that.

Name your best outing of the year (Sarah's wedding and Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa's don't count).

My first family vacation to Tennessee with Jessica, Sepporah and my mom.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

I don’t get embarrassed. Embarrassment gets Chris Johnson.

Did you make any new year's resolutions?

I want to learn how to use my camera to take great pictures.

Did you know that Phyllis talks to her plants? Apparently they never talk back to her. What do you think about that?

They are her royal subjects. My mom is obsessed with the royal family so she pretends to be the queen and makes her flowers her royal subjects. It’s pretty weird.

Are there any plans for 2010 that you're really looking forward to?

Hopefully I will be working from my home. That Is my goal. By the summer I want to be fully employed by Tyrus Design and be able to finally sleep in….to 7am.

Did you hear about Thompson-a-thon? It's a four-day event at Stephen and Karen's this summer. There'll be bulldog races (complete with a bookie), a Johson-boys Wrestlemania (you can bet on this too), and full sets on Stage A by artists such as Cole, Claire and Sepporah. Also, Stephen has agreed to paint everybody's portrait, in life-size, for free, using pointilism. It's going to be a hoot and a half.

I already have a portrait of myself in pointillism by the famous Stephen Thompson. Boo ya! Sucka’s!!