Can You Believe This Guy?

Okay, I'll just go ahead and admit it. I never thought any of my cousins were ever going to humor me and answer my silly questions and fill out my silly questionnaires to make this blog work. And if any of them did, I was sure it wasn't going to be Nate or Kristen, being that they are children of Stephen Thompson the Silent and Private Ad Mystic (for the record, I kid. Stephen was one of the first people to respond to me when I set this up).

But this just goes to prove how little I know. Because not only did Gabe and Emily represent in full right off the bat, Richard flew in for a quick follow up and dunked the dickens out of his update (that's my attempt at bringing some type of sports talk to this blog. It's kind of beautiful how it makes absolutely no sense, isn't it?).

And now. NOW. I bring to you the latest Thompson madness from my inbox: Nate Thompason takes the Thompson Questionnaire, giving Richard a run for the title of Funniest Thompson.

NATE



Describe your hairstyle in two words or less.

-long

What is your favorite song?

-probably New Slang by the Shins

What is the last thing that totally blew your mind.

- pulling a 94% on a dynamics final that was worth 50% of my grade

How's your love life?

- ballin'

If there's one dessert you could eat until it hurts,
what would it be?

-not a big dessert fan, but i do eat loaves of french bread like it's my job

When is your bedtime?

-I try to go to bed around midnight so I don't drag all day

Einstein said: "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit
and a violin. What else does a man need to be
happy?" Customize this quote to fit yourself.

-"A paperclip, a rubberband, a piece of string
and a penny. What else does a man need to be
diffuse a nuclear bomb?" Macguyver rules.

What is your most under appreciated attribute?

-punctuality

What is your pet's name?

-otis, lola, elmo, lily, skylar

How much can you bench press?

-not enough

Quick, how old are Betty and Leroy Thompson?

-mid to late 40's

And what are they really doing with all that free
time?

-partying hardcore

Will you announce your candidacy this year?

-yeah but don't tell grandma and grandpa, I'm running as a democrat

Chris Gets More Ink

Photos and captions by Chris. I'll be withholding my usual commentary because I feel it's really not even necessary:



Say hello to the newest member of me. Its the gps (longitude latitude) coordinates of the hospital where sepporah was born.


It will be on display at this years annual Thompson Thanksgiving Gun Show.

Blankenhorns Represent!

To carry us into the weekend we've got a new person in the family chiming in, somebody who I've been wanting very much to get in on the blog because of his... how you say... ah, yes... unique sense of humor. That's right. Richard Scott. In this update we learn about the cutthroat world of high finance, unbridled bachelorism and chronic video game addiction, as well as being treated to some truly corny jokes. And, as always, I reserve the right to crack wise in brackets.

I'd also like to point out, speaking as a professional copy editor, that Richard's written grammar skills are basically impeccable. Who knew?

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Richard. SCOTT. BLAAAAAAANKENHOOOOORN!!!!

Richard writes:

Right now I am working at Scottrade [See, he's already got them to name the place after him. I'm telling you, world takeover, this guy.] and living with my college roommate in a duplex, a few miles from downtown St. Louis. I recently took the CFA exam and am going to start earning my masters in finance come August. My hobbies include Cardinals baseball, golf, and my latest obsession: European football [That's "Soccer" to the rest of us - ed.], particularly Chelsea FC. I recently took a trip to Boston to visit a friend and to see the Cardinals play the Red Sox at Fenway Park. I am also going to Chicago in late August to see the Cards vs. the Cubs. A bunch of old friends from highschool and I take a trip to Chicago every year for a Cards vs. Cubs series. [So.... you're saying you like the Cardinals?] Other than sports, I love hanging out with my friends, playing poker, watching movies, playing xbox 360 online (although I usually get dominated by kids that are half my age, it's really annoying), studying, working out, and trying not to spend too much money since I'm practically broke. The last movie I saw was Indiana Jones, but I have to say I was pretty disappointed [for more on this, I'm going to allow Chris to write a whole post on his fury at the new Indiana Jones. Dude was heartbroken.]. Oh, another interest of mine is really corny jokes.....and here are a few examples:

1. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? It was quite an affair. I wish I could have attended because I heard that, while the ceremony was ok, the reception was absolutely phenomenal.

2. Did you hear that Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table? Apparently the only element he believes in is the element of surprise.

3. Did you hear about the Indian that drank 50 gallons of tea? Apparently they found him the next morning lying in his own tea pee.

4. A sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here."

I don't know why but these sort of jokes crack me up. But seriously, joking aside, I am having a great time living on my own, close to the city, with no strings attached.

Chris's Wedding Photos Revised

I've updated the link on the original post of Chris's wedding photos. The new file is smaller in size. I also noticed that the pictures were too dark and some were too green, because of the tent. So I fixed those issues, because I'm kind of anal like that.

Wedding Photos Revised

The new file also includes some pictures with "special" effects that Chris asked me to try out. Below are a few examples. I know that Stephen and Gabe like to play around in Photoshop with raw photos too. Maybe for future events, we could post links to the untouched photos for those who are interested and then post whatever they come up with on the blog. Might be cool.

Dating Lois Lane

Somebody once said that the secret to complimenting women is this: beautiful women want to be told they're smart, smart women want to be told they're beautiful. Simple enough. The conundrum for me, if you could call it that, is that my baby has got the beauty and the brains happening in equal measure. And I don't know which is more attractive.

Lately, I've had the pleasure of watching her take on a new position as a reporter for a local newspaper conglomorate, covering the beat of an entire city all by herself and just nailing the job. It makes me proud on all kinds of levels; I get to see her honesty, her drive, her curiosity and her high personal standards at work on a daily basis. It's like dating Lois Lane, though that in no way is meant to imply I'm Superman (although I just had my vision tested and I'm freakishly between 20/15 and 20/10. The nurse looked half-scared when I nailed the smallest lines on their eye chart and said, "That's, like, x-ray vision or something!")

Last week it was cool to be behind the scenes as Kirsten scrambled to cover the breaking story of a 1979 robbery murder case which had gone cold that was reopened and solved by an industrious local detective.

Daniel

These are the guys who are alleged to have held up a grocery store and, when the manager was unable to open the safe, shot him to death and left. Looking at their scary mugshots, the most baffling part for me is how after 29 years, in which they lost contact with each other, they both happened to be showering when they were arrested.

How To Leave Comments

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Gabriel Thompson: Guitar Hero

The video onslaught continues!

Video Technology Comes to Thompson Madness

We have video:

Cole does a little singing. Titus has enough of waiting in the wings and joins in on the chorus.

Grandma Defeated By Kirsten In Major Scrabulous Upset

In addition to playing Scrabulous games against me incessantly (and even winning one), Grandma's been competing feverishly on the side with my girlfriend, Kirsten, who is a little more her speed. Well, almost her speed, because Grandma's been steadily beating her, though the games have been close. But in a major upset today, Kirsten pulled out ahead in their latest match. Keep your chin up, Grandma.

Kirsten 274

Grandma 259

A Very Important Service Announcement About Mustaches

Think about it, Gabe. "Set yourself free."

From Esquire



Although society had been flirting with the return of the mustache for years, we’d remained unconvinced. It had become a trifle, a mockable prop -- even to those sporting it.

But sometimes the truth comes at you unexpected. Like maybe riding down from the rooftop bar of a fine New York hotel, after an evening of dining, in a paneled elevator crowded with not a few beautiful women, some of us yobs from the office, and, in the middle, a single man standing tall, in a dark suit, wearing a mustache.

The space grew quiet, then one of our people -- the one who’d had the most to drink -- started in: “The mustache. Are we okay with the mustache?” A response came without hesitation or rancor. “Oh, yes, you should try it yourself,” the man with the mustache said. “It’s empowering.” The accent was Merseyside. He sounded like a bodhisattvan Ringo Starr.

But we weren’t done with him. “Really? What about maintenance?”

“There’s less to do. You don’t even think about it.”

Our own guy hesitated, paused, and confessed: “The truth is, I have thought about it, but don’t know if I could pull it off.”

The man nodded. He understood. “You can. It’s a declaration. Try it. Set yourself free.”

With that, the doors opened and he disappeared into the night. And we were believers. The serious mustache is back.

Scott's Florida Vacation Pictures

Vacation is a State of Mind

I asked Scott for pictures of his Florida vacation and got this picture of his motorcycle in my e-mail.

I think he's being cryptic, or profound, but I can't crack the code.

Meet Cole, Age 2

The operative word with Cole is "intense." It's almost been worn out by now, but anybody trying to describe this uniquely focused toddler will inevitably fall back on this descriptive. It's not an unhappy intensity though. Cole is just engaged, with everything. His brain is working on overdrive and he's full of curiosity and love. I wish I got to have more time with him. As it is, the half hour we spent playing Trackball after Chris's wedding will have to tide me over until the next get together.

Cole was gracious enough to take time out of Cousin Fest Saturday to sit down with Thompson Madness and answer the official Questionnaire. Here are his answers.

COLE

Cole tying his shoes. Intensely.

Describe your hairstyle in two words or less.

Surfer shag

What is your favorite song?

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. Just can't get enough of it.

What is the last thing that totally blew your mind.

My uncle Dan's pink shirt.

How's your love life?

I got a pretty good prospect. Her name is Brooke (I call her Brooky). We hang out all the time in nursery and are best friends. Both our parents work with the youth group so we have been able to go on a few dates.

If there's one dessert you could eat until it hurts, what would it be?

Too many. I'm all about the sweets. Sometimes it's ice cream cones (literally the cone...the ice cream is ok but the real fun is the cone), other times it's candy.

When is your bedtime?

Well, lights out are around 8:00 p.m. but Tidy and I kick it for a couple of more hours. We talk and strategize how we can get Mom to ourselves during the night. We know we have to share and that it's going to take a team effort to break her down and get her alone in our room to hold us, sing to us, etc. So sleep usually comes later.

Einstein said: "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin. What else does a man need to be happy?" Customize this quote to fit yourself.

A mom, a raffy, a bowl of candy and a fuddy.* What else does a brother need to be happy?

What is your most under appreciated attribute?

Mom really makes a fuss over all of my attributes so that's hard. She loves my chubby body and she thinks I'm super smart.

What is your pet's name?

No pets. Just my best friend - Raffy.

How much can you bench press?

Because I intake so many calories every day I have to be careful not to bulk up so I usually go for reps and not max.

Quick, how old are Betty and Leroy Thompson?

I'm only up to 10 on my numbers.

And what are they really doing with all that free time?

Thanksgiving is a yearlong planning event. They probably are preparing as we speak. Grandma is working out her egg-in-the-hole recipe and Grandpa is putting all the dangerous items out of children's reach, like the paper shredder.

Will you announce your candidacy this year?

I have some feelers out. I look good in the Midwest but the coasts are a concern. I'm not committing to anything just yet.

*Raffy=Cole's pet giraffe. Fuddy=pacifier.

Trish Breaks it Down

This update came to me last week and got lost in the shuffle. Never again Aunt Trish! I have drawn attention to various parts of the e-mail with bracketed comments as I've seen fit. Because I can.

Trish writes:

How are you? We all just celebrated Father’s Day here – all the kids came in with their significant others – we just BBQd and hung out.

Sarah has graduated and is staying in Springfield to be near her friend Jason. Jason is a very nice young man – good to Sarah and she is happy – I just wish she was going to finish her dietetics program – she has to have a masters to practice dietetics. Looked for a while at Arkansas and Colorado as options to do her internship. [Aunt Trish, easy with the em dashes. Periods are classic. They never go out of style.]

RS just took his CFA exam – hoping he passes as it will mean more career choices and better income [Why do I have a sinking feeling that my laid-back cousin Richard is going to be the next Donald Trump, only richer and funny?] – he is working through the process of starting school in the fall for his masters in finance – living with his friend from college in a duplex his friend Chris purchased just bought his first new car – swears to be a bachelor until he is at least 50 y/o or has a million dollars – whichever comes first. [I would pay good money to get video of this bachelor Valhalla] Still working for Scott Trade – lives for golf and baseball – flying to Boston this weekend for a game.

Ryan – lives in the city – still working as a waiter and waiting to hear if he got accepted into his masters program in psychology – lives a very bohemian lifestyle – also works part-time for a local health care system answering calls from patients in psychological crisis – does an intake assessment determining what next steps should take place – he has had his car tags stolen so many times he finally just took the plates off and put them in his window - he doesn’t seem afraid where he lives – but always glad to hear his voice when he calls. [Trish, what Ryan is doing here is called Keeping It Real. It's all the rage.]

Kristen is a Sr at DePaul in Chicago – just moved in with her friend Chris, a waiter also – they are very socially conscious – would love to work the peace corps – loves to read. [I can't believe that Kristen was living down the street from my girlfriend when she lived in Chicago, and we never met up. This short description of Trish's just underscores what a waste that was.]

The conversation is never boring at our table. [Of course not. Your sentences run together in a never-ending bonanza of em dashes. Okay, that's my last em dash joke.]

All of them are broke [Word!] – life costs too much today – if they would I would let them all come home and live and stash some cash – instead I have taken a full-time job and am happy to help out when I can.

Mark works harder than ever – day and night – so do I though. His company was acquired by an Asian firm [Trish, I believe the politically correct term is no longer "Asian," but "Little People of the Orient"...] – job security is shaky. I think we would both like it if he got fired so he could take some time off and rest.

Love them all to death!

Meet Gabe(riel) and Em(ily)

Gabe and Em took the prestigious Thompson Questionnaire recently. Here are their responses.

EMILY

Emily pictured right.

Describe your hairstyle in two words or less. long, layered

What is your favorite song? songbird-Oasis

What is the last thing that totally blew your mind. The Ocean

How's your love life? Non-existent

If there's one dessert you could eat until it hurts, what would it be? chocolate molten cake

When is your bedtime? midnight

Einstein said: "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin. What else does a man need to be happy?" Customize this quote to fit yourself. A cute guy, a computer, hot weather, and my best friends. what else does a girl need to be happy?

What is your most under appreciated attribute? my sense of humor

What is your pet's name? dodgie

How much can you bench press? like 30..

Quick, how old are Betty and Leroy Thompson? 74?

And what are they really doing with all that free time? eating, napping, and reading the bible.

Will you announce your candidacy this year? no.

----

GABE
Describe your hairstyle in two words or less. Care Free

What is your favorite song? Say It Aint So - Weezer

What is the last thing that totally blew your mind. Nothing amazes me. For I have seen and Know everything there is. For I am the noble age of 17

How's your love life? ooohhh yeah about that.... It's Terrific

If there's one dessert you could eat until it hurts, what would it be? That delicious fudge brownie cake stuff at the Old Country Buffet

When is your bedtime? Whenever "I" deem fit

Einstein said: "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin. What else does a man need to be happy?" Customize this quote to fit yourself. "A Friend, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a Piano. What else does a man need to be happy?"

What is your most under appreciated attribute? My Halo 3 and Piano Skillzz

What is your pet's name? BoBO

How much can you bench press? Rep 135 Max 160

Quick, how old are Betty and Leroy Thompson? 75 and 78?

And what are they really doing with all that free time? Well Grandpa, prolly mowin a lot. And grandma? Prolly... Gardening a lot.

Will you announce your candidacy this year? Not yet, I still do not feel it is the right time, For my ideas are still quite radical. Yes, quite. Quite Radical

Wedding Pictures Download

To download the full-quality pictures from Chris's wedding (it's a large file, so be prepared to leave your computer for a bit), click here.

If that doesn't work, email me.

The Wedding of Chris and Jessica

Chris and Jessica got married for reals yesterday. I was asked to handle the photography duties and I think I went a little overboard because I have around 500 pictures on my computer right now that need to be color corrected, resized and formatted for printing. Here are a few and I'll post a zip file in a day or two with the rest for anybody who wants to download and print their own.

Grandma vs. Daniel: AND GRANDMA TAKES IT!

As most of you know, the rivalry between Grandma and I in Scrabble is intense. My obsession with Scrabble began with playing her at Thanksgiving, when I was just a mushy-headed pre-teen. In the early days she had the advantage over me and won most of those games. But in time, the pupil surpassed the master and now I'm far more likely to kick Grandma's butt than the other way around. And I'm not afraid to talk trash either.

Thanks to the wonder of the internet we've now been playing long-distance games, using the Scrabulous application. To be honest, it hasn't been pretty. She's come close a few times, but for the most part I've been brutally smearing her with deft combinations of words and brilliantly strategic letter tile usages. I guess I should feel bad, but I don't.

However. HOWEVER. Today, let the record state. Grandma took me down 341 to 314. And here's the screen grab to prove it.



Notice the bit of taunting I was doing in the comments field on the right. That's called psychological warfare.

Betty and Leroy Rock the Lincoln Museum

Captions by Betty.

Lincoln wasn't very talkative that day and his wife was not interested in our being there.

So, we walked over to have a conversation with the man that we thought was William Booth, who killed Lincoln. He didn't have much to say either. Ended up being pretty much a one sided conversation with them.

If you ever get a chance, you should go see that museum. It is awesome to see! You would need a whole day to see it all.

Grandma Thompson