A Very Important Service Announcement About Mustaches

Think about it, Gabe. "Set yourself free."

From Esquire



Although society had been flirting with the return of the mustache for years, we’d remained unconvinced. It had become a trifle, a mockable prop -- even to those sporting it.

But sometimes the truth comes at you unexpected. Like maybe riding down from the rooftop bar of a fine New York hotel, after an evening of dining, in a paneled elevator crowded with not a few beautiful women, some of us yobs from the office, and, in the middle, a single man standing tall, in a dark suit, wearing a mustache.

The space grew quiet, then one of our people -- the one who’d had the most to drink -- started in: “The mustache. Are we okay with the mustache?” A response came without hesitation or rancor. “Oh, yes, you should try it yourself,” the man with the mustache said. “It’s empowering.” The accent was Merseyside. He sounded like a bodhisattvan Ringo Starr.

But we weren’t done with him. “Really? What about maintenance?”

“There’s less to do. You don’t even think about it.”

Our own guy hesitated, paused, and confessed: “The truth is, I have thought about it, but don’t know if I could pull it off.”

The man nodded. He understood. “You can. It’s a declaration. Try it. Set yourself free.”

With that, the doors opened and he disappeared into the night. And we were believers. The serious mustache is back.