Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Cleaning Out the Closet – The Family of Liars

Below are the revelation of the lies. The lies are in bold print. I did that so you can read the other ones and realize how many crazy things are true. Also, notice how many of you had the third one as your lie.


PHYLLIS JOHNSON

1- In a chance meeting, I confronted Chief Peter MacDonald of the Navajo Nation, about the practice of giving the Navajo people their annual allotment of money from the Bureau of Indian Affairs, in one lump sum every January. I felt it contributed to the abundance of alcoholism and subsequent neglect of children on the reservation. The encounter made the front page of the Window Rock newspaper and I still have the clipping.

2 - I drove a mentally ill Native American woman from Window Rock, Arizona to her family in El Paso, Texas. Another 16 year old girl accompanied me on the trip. While in El Paso, we decided to cross the border into Juarez, Mexico where I purchased a lovely velvet painting of Jesus praying in the Garden. We spoke no Spanish, could read no road signs, only had American money, but had a ball.

3 - I heard that the father of the children who lived across from us had fallen off the wagon after a year of sobriety. I found out what bar he was at, got in the compound's van and drove to the bar. I walked in and ordered him to get in the van, where he laid on the back seat drunk. I drove him straight to the church which was having a service. I ordered him to go sit on the front row___and he wobbled down. That was his last jump off the wagon. He went on to become a nationally recognized creator and designer of Navajo jewelry.


Kirsten Buys

1 - I was on The Price Is Right

2 - I danced in the half-time show of the Cotton Bowl

3 - I've had tea with the Lord Mayor of Belfast


Stephen Thompson

1 - I went to a Mariah Carey meet-and-greet in downtown Chicago. I did not get in line to have my picture taken with her though. There were too many geek fans crying and sweating in line so I just sat there and watched the mayhem. She is much shorter in person.

2 - I saw Jeff Beck, Willie Nelson, Cheryl Crow, John Mayer, Los Lobos, Vince Gill, Robert Cray, Eric Clapton, Allison Krauss, Johnny Winter, BB King, Buddy Guy, Robert Randolph, and Bill Murray all in one day in Chicago.

3 - I have been married 29 years. I have two kids. I've owned 5 homes, 8 dogs, countless cats, 10 cars, and 3 trailers. I've worked at 7 agencies in 5 different states. I've been laid off twice. Along the way I've met Micky Mantle, Joe Montana, and Bill Monroe.

(The only part of this that is a lie is that Steve only worked in 4 states.)


Daniel Johnson

1) I am voting for Project Runway's Tim Gunn as a write-in candidate on this year's presidential election ballot.

2) When I was at CBC I asked for permission to play music in bars.... and got it.

3) I have a tattoo of a feather on my upper arm (and have for three years) which none of my immediate family has seen.


Jessica Johnson

1) I was in a movie theater watching a movie. Meanwhile, in the lobby two people got shoot and the place got robbed.

2) Once I did a radio commercial for a Cystic Fibrosis benefit.

3) Before I had my license I drove a farming tractor from my house to the grocery store in "town".


Chris Johnson

1. Let off a noise making bomb during President Spences commencment address over the new academic building at Evangel and caused him to stop.

2. Bought a $1.00 pack of baseball cards and found an autograph Vladmr Gurrero card in it and sold the card for $85.

3. Got to take batting practice at Comerica Park (Tiger's new stadium).


Grandma

1. When we were on the Holy Land trip in the late 70's, I went with a few others in our group to the old city of Jerusalem. Trish wanted me to bring her a purse and time was running out on getting it. I got lost from my group and I panicked. To my utter surprise, a friend from high school days saw me. She was with a different group I had not seen her for years but she recognized me and when I told her my dilemma, she helped me find my group. Big relief, to say the least. Oh, and yes, I did get a purse for Patricia.

(The only part that is untrue is that Grandma did not run into a friend that she knew)

2. I used to roller skate with friends on the streets near our house at Pocahontas when I was a teenager. We would hold hands and when one fell, it was bad news for the others. I fell many times and hurt my knees. That probably accounts for my bad knee today.

3. I started to school when I was four years old. I think I was about 7 or 8, when my teacher lost a $10.00 bill on the school yard. I found it and he bought me a pair of overalls (or bibs) as a reward. A bit of an odd reward, but I liked them.


Grandpa

1. Once while riding a Double-Decker bus in the middle of London in the middle of the night with two women, I realized we were lost and I didn't know where to get off to get to our hotel. Then a bus stopped in front of us and I thought I recognized some of the people who got off. So we asked our driver to stop and we got off our bus and followed behind them to our 'sight-for-sore-eyes' hotel.

2. Later, in our two weeks tour to Israel and other places before there, we were staying in a hotel near the Sea of Galilee. We were being served St. Peter's fish by a server when some objected to the fish with heads still on and eyes glaring. The server stated our complaint back to us: "You want head off fish?" We thought he would take it back to the kitchen but before our eyes he be-headed the eyes glaring fish.

3. After our retirement in 2002, Grandma and I were on a tour of the New England States. I was the Navigator and Grandma was the driver. We were on our way to Gettysburg and I saw on the map that we could leave the Freeway and take a short-cut that would save us many miles. We made the exit and Grandma said to me, "I think we need to get gas at this station." I looked at the gauge and told her I thought we were safe. Grandma, being the obedient wife that she is, took the short-cut and we found the crooked road under construction which required more gas than I thought. Well, you can guess what happened.

5 comments:

Matt Johnson said...

I'll release Scott's answer later. I was holding off to give everyone a chance.

Anonymous said...

see...I was correct about Grandpa...he did this in such a way he didn't lie.....

Funny that the very fact I knew wasn't true on Steve # 3 was about how many states he lived in....he must think his family drinks lead paint....like we wouldn't know where all he has lived....

Anonymous said...

The part that was not true about Grandpa's was the implication that we ran out of gas and that I was obedient. I whipped the car in to the station against his wishes and it was a good thing we did or we would have run out. A long dark road through woods for miles. Was scary for us, even with gas.

Grandma

Daniel said...

I think that part of the rules should be that the lie option is completely untrue, not partially untrue.

Matt Johnson said...

I totally agree with Dan. I thought the same thing about Steve's but then almost everybody saw through his lie so I didn't say anything.