Sunday afternoon, the day after Chris's wedding, I got a phone call while doing some landscaping for a friend.
Chris: Are you home? By a computer?I believe, having since spoken with my mom and doing some hard investigative research, I have correctly retraced the exact route she took and that it went a little something like this:
Me: No. What's up?
Chris: Mom's lost.
Me: What? How? Didn't she get lost the last time she drove home?
Chris: Yeah. She just called me, in tears. She has no idea where she's at and she's been driving around lost for hours, still in Michigan.
Me: Oh, dear.
The next day day, I e-mailed her to ask what in the world happened. I got a response that can only be described as... lunacy. Here are excerpts of her reply, edited for brevity:
Chris told me NOT to go all the way out to the airport (which turns out to be the ONLY ....only there was a big orange sign that just said...I do not have a GPS system or map. HOW am I suppose to figure out a alternate route? What I should have done...get 275 which leads to the only entrance to 75 S....But I never had heard of 275 or heard anyone mention it....BUT NO...I felt I was going south, so that was good and that I should just keep going south until I found an...I ended up finding 6 entrances all marked with a big orange sign that said...I kept running into the lake. I was in Wyandotte, Riverview, Trenton, Flat Rock, Woodhaven, Amhersburg and Southgate.... I stopped so many times and people would give me directions to...and it would be closed. If you look on a map as I did when I got home...One guy did say to go to Eureka Road, but based on the fact it was obvious I had been crying he looks at me and changes his mind because he says it would be too complicated, so he tells me to take...TWO people told me to take northline RIGHT....I would REPEAT the instructions and they would say yes, I would write them down, and then they would be wrong!!!!!...Now I see if I HAD taken Eureka it would have...By the third time I called Chris I had ...for so long that I had no clue what direction was south or north, east or west. I couldn't even see the sun there were so many clouds.... I keep my eyes peeled, see the road finally and...only to have the SICK realization that I was on....the south exit was probably just a little farther down and since I was so frantic and saw the road I was suppose to look for I just got on 275 BEFORE I realized I had turned on the north exit. There were NO off ramps for miles... I didn't care. I didn't care if I was arrested. I turned left and gunned my car through the grass...
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11 comments:
Let's get her a GPS-WalMart for 200.00. Who's in?
But think of all the entertainment that would deprive the family of...
I'm in for the GPS! We may stop getting visits from her without it...
Oh...if only it had been that funny when I was in the middle of it...I just laughed till I had tears now....actually the drawing should have been an oval loop along side the lake that I drove for three hours....round and round.
One gentleman who could barely speak English actually said out of the blue, "Are you trying to get to Ohio?" Obviously he had seen others in my situation.
Feeling a little defensive....(<>:
and I lost a hubcap during.....
I felt so bad for you. I have such a poor sense of direction and I could just imagine me in that situation. I would have cried too and I probably would have hit the grass and gunned it. I was surprised that you got lost, having lived in Detroit as long as you did.
Mom
so just when you need an encouraging word from your mom she ends it by saying, "I am surprised you got lost in Detroit, having lived there as long as you did."
I drove out of Detroit and ran into Lake Erie and could not get around it to get to Ohio.
I'm sorry Phyllis. I didn't mean to imply you should have known better by knowing Detroit. I've been on a few excursions around Detroit with you but I guess not any on the roads going out of there.
Mom
Can we tone down the sensitivity on this forum? Grandma, you played rough and tumble with mom on that last comment and it was beautiful. Don't backtrack!
Amen-Mom, stand strong! Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.
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